I’m Getting Scared of the Internet
I am afraid surfing the internet’s going to destroy my mind and my self. I often notice large chunks of time - 30-60 min or so - have passed without my noticing time’s passage or formulating a coherent thought. During that time any focus or resolve, any clear sense of self I had has been mushed to a pulp. My mind is left like a multiply exposed photograph, with little sense governing the exposures and it takes some time to regain any sense of what I’m doing or myself as an integral whole, a will in the world, or any sort of human continuity. And still I feel so compelled towards it - I think mainly by the hope that I’ll “find the answer” or “get to the bottom” of something.
Maybe part of the problem is the broken barriers between self and other, activity and receptivity, and the unbearable speed at which it changes. Maybe if I reform my habits I can forge a healthier relationship with the internet.
